Today I had my second ultrasound since my last surgery, and things looked really great! I was so excited! I still am excited! The technician told me that “unoffically,” everything looks clear. She even said my ovaries look better than they did last time.
I am so happy that I found Dr. Robbins and was privileged enough to have him do my surgery. I honestly believe he changed the course of my life and saved me from multiple, painful operations and unnecessary medical intervention. How do you thank a person for something like that?
All of a sudden, everything began to look good to me today. I was relaxed as I drove from the medical center to my work. I had my window down and felt the wind blowing on my face. It is sunny and beautiful outside, as if God was smiling down on me as He released me from the grief and anxiety that once enveloped me in the clutches of endometriosis. I surely was not expecting better news than before. At the very minimum, I thought everything would be the same as last time, which was not bad, either. But to be even better?
I think somewhere along the way, I may have forgotten how to process true happiness. There is a part of my brain that releases an automatic dose of skepticism whenever positive neurons are galloping through my vast mental field of thoughts and dreams. When happiness comes along, all of these questions marks are raised. “What is this? Is this real? What do we do with this?,” my neurons ask. My brain isn’t used to it. How sad that a brain can become accustomed to processing cynical, negative information, and when positive information comes along, it is almost like a foreign language being spoken.
I still have the ability to feel happy, however! I still know how it feels to be blessed and given a gift! I feel refreshed and vivacious. I almost feel like calling the doctor now and telling him that he will receive a good report! Maybe I will. I’m sure it is a good day when he hears how well someone is doing as a result of him utilizing his skill and talent.
Here’s to hoping the rest of the week will remain bright and sunny!
